Late Night Thinkin'

Yes, I'm still  up. Yes, I need to carry myself off to bed. I just wanted to clear my head before I lay down.  Please forgive me in advance for the lack of rhyme or reason... I'm just purging.

I've been on hold with this Love Dare thing. I don't know why... I'm just really stuck on Day 6. Marginalizing my life seems almost impossible since I don't have anything laid out. I'm so needing to get back on the Flylady wagon. this lack of scheduling just has me left spinning and quite unproductive. It's borderlining on depressive.

I've been watching Clean House for the last two days. I feel like I'm on the verge of becoming like those families. Now, truthfully, is my home anywhere near Clean House worthy? NO. But in my mind it's not far from. It's just so overwhelming at times. The way it gets so out of control so quickly. Seems like I just can't stay on top of it.

 I know that it drives my husband nuts. And to be honest, I do feel bad. Here he is going to work everyday and I'm here at home. Well... what have I done ALL DAY? Nothing. Not a single thing. I really don't even know where to begin. And the kitchen seems to be the worst place. That and the laundry issues. Ugh, what a pain! I hate doing laundry!!! I didn't used to hate the total process. Now I do. Cause one step leads to the next. Then I'm stuck with baskets of clothes needing to be folded and put away. Ugh!

What's sad is that I have these moments where it seems like I've got it under control. Where I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I've got the schedule down pact. The problem is that it just doesn't last. Nothing that I set out to do lasts beyond 3-5 days. Oh, this truth is soooo sad. I don't know why I'm so inconsistent. This makes me a not so great wife, mother, sister, friend, etc. I really need someone to be accountable to other than myself. The problem with that is that no one else I know is very consistent either. "Birds of a feather flock together", right?

Taking a brief intermission cause I hear my son crying. I'll probably not return to this post. G'nite.