My Thoughts: Ask him for 3 things that cause him discomfort or irritation...?! Oddly enough we had just had this conversation a few days ago. What I found out was that my "lack" was contributing to him feeling overwhelmed. Surprisingly, I took it in. Didn't say anything to defend myself. Didn't even interrupt. I listened, really listened, and waited. I actually waited until he said he was done.
My response surprised me! Rather than pointing fingers or blaming, I apologized. I don't want to cause him harm. In anyway. So I apologized for adding more to his already existing feelings. I made no promises. Just an apology. One that actually came from the heart.
In my heart, though, I made a commitment to do better. Yes, I've been slacking. For one reason or another. All selfish, I have to admit. But there is no reason why he should be feeling so burdened with things that should not be his concern.
Another thing brought to my attention after reading was that I do have a habit of making unnecessary comments. Not in an effort to hurt, but just out of pure annoyance. I definitely will be working on this one. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, right?
My Experience: Today was victorious!!! When I got up this morning the normal routine began. I decided to let him take the car to work. This way there was no possibility of me leaving and aborting my plan. I got our daughter ready for the day. As he started to make her lunch along with his own, I told him not to worry about it. I'd take care of it. Freeing him up to do whatever else he needed to do before he headed out. I had them out the door on time. Kisses and hugs, have a blessed day.
Rather than climbing back into bed, which was soooo tempting I decided to get up. I "rescued" myself all the way to shoes. Dealt with my son, breakfast, dressed, etc. Then I was a woman on a mission.
One of the things I loathe is laundry. It seems never ending!!! Washing and drying are the easy part. It's the folding and putting away that is my enemy. LOL! But today I decided I was gonna catch up on ALL the laundry. I had preloaded and washed a load to be complete by 6 a.m. (thanks to my delay start timer). It was ready to go. So I did a "laundry reboot" (FlyLady term) and grabbed the already full basket that had been sitting in the back office for over a week! Shameful, I know.
As the day went on I washed, dried, folded, put away, washed, dried, folded, put away. Over and over again. I went completely through six loads!!! It might have been seven. LOL! Either way, they are completely done. Not to mention this was all done while stopping to keep my 20 month old occupied. We read A LOT of books today.
Dinner was decided, pulled out, marinated and ready to be cooked. It was cooked on time. It tasted good. And I even cleaned as I went. My sink is clean and empty. My daughter's lunch is prepared and packed. I even offered to pack my husband's. (I forgot he's fasting tomorrow so I'll have to keep that for tomorrow evening.) The kids were bathed and in bed on time.
Now I know this might all sound like typical stuff that is supposed to happen. But lately, like I said, I've been a slacker. Not overly slacked, but just not giving it my all. So the point for me today was to do take care of something that is an issue for my husband. I have to be honest, as I was putting his clothes away, I can't remember the last time his drawers were full of clean clothes! He actually has enough underwear for 2 stacks in his drawer! (TMI- Sorry, I just didn't know.) Nothing says I love you like clean underwear and socks.
It took that small visual to have a big impact on me. How rude is it for my husband to have to search out clean underwear?! It IS rude. Well, no more. Today was the day of new beginnings.
I'm thankful and excited about the next 35 days. I look forward to the shift in my marriage as I allow the Lord to open me up and pour in. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies..." -Proverbs 31:10
"The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious." - Ecclesiastes 10:12
Miracles & Blessings~